| We
read the newspapers, turn on the television, and listen to the radio only
to hear on every side the horrible details of what happened in Littleton,
Colorado. The "experts" are discussing and debating the "whys" of the whole
thing. Why are our kids so full of rage? Why do such young people think
their only solution is to kill and destroy? The "whys" fill the air waves.
I was really surprised at the response (or lack of response) of Dr. Billy
Graham on the Larry King Live show to a question he was asked about why.
He essentially said it was a complicated issue and dropped it right there
as if there were no answer. But I believe there is! And all we have to
do is look to the Bible for that answer.
To
talk to parents of little children today is to talk to people terrorized!
People terrorized by our government and social services organizations which
tie the hands of parents with threats of having their children taken away
or even being imprisoned for "child abuse" if they spank their children.
So you see and hear children three, four or five years old holding their
mothers hostage in a grocery store throwing temper tantrums. The poor helpless
mother is humiliated and embarrassed looking around unable to react. Because
if she were to spank the child some do-gooder thinking they were "saving
the child" would call the police and have the woman arrested.
Children
are allowed to go out of the house in cold, wet, winter weather without
proper clothing because little Johnny "refuses" to wear his long pants
or a coat. My wife works in a day care center in town and often tells me
stories like this. In the area of proper nutrition, many parents allow
small children to dictate what they will and will not eat. Other stories
abound about two and three year olds grabbing toys from other children
and hitting and kicking other children. Teachers can only stand by and
watch, put the child in "time out", or call the parents to come and get
the child.
The
examples can go on and on, but one story in particular comes to mind which
I heard on the radio. James Dobson was telling about a woman who called
him asking for advice because she was beside herself to know what to do.
Her daughter, the mother recounted, refused to allow her to change her
diaper. Thinking the child was two or three years old Dr. Dobson asked
the woman how old the child was. The mother responded, "Oh, she's ten days
old." That mother had already lost control of that child! As they get older
children who are not given recognizable, clearly defined, boundaries which
they can't manipulate or defy, become confused and enraged by the ambiguity.
But parents must remain in control!
Children
are no longer taught self control when they are two and three years old
because parents are terrified that if they spank their child they will
be placing themselves in jeopardy. As these children without discipline
and self control grow up they become a terror for their elementary school
teachers who also can't do anything to discipline them. As these students
enter middle and high school age they demand total freedom and many parents
don't have any idea what to do with them any more. So they just look the
other way and essentially wait out the teen years and hope they and their
children survive.
Somewhere
along the line the drug culture of the sixties, the flower children of
the Haight Ashbury district and Woodstock have become the doctors, psychologists,
psychiatrists, and lawyers of the nineties. As a result, since spanking
is considered child abuse by many in our "care free" society, what to do
with the outrageous, uncontrollable behavior of children becomes a major
issue. Ah! Let's come up with a diagnosis for this discipline problem and
call it Attention Deficit Disorder and then put the children on drugs -
Ridelin. Let's drug our children into submission! And that isn't
considered child abuse because the medical community prescribes it and
that immediately makes it acceptable!
If
by now you detect a tone of sarcasm in my writing you are right. I am sarcastic
because in the wake of the Columbine High School shooting I am again hearing
these so called "experts" pontificating their psychobable about the reason
for the problems with these young people. But they are missing the whole
point. We are entering a time in our country where we are going to reap
the results of our permissive, disciplineless, concept of child rearing.
We have raised a nation of children who are entering adolescence with a
void in their being. Their souls are a gigantic void! Not having been taught
self control as small children, and not having been given values by their
parents, they become a teenage vacuum sucking up the pervasive pop culture
- which today is filled with messages of hate, violence, sexual promiscuity,
and just plain darkness. This is what's filling our young people and the
rest of society can only sit back and watch the results.
I believe
the answer lies in the Bible. It always has and always will. Let me share
a few verses from Proverbs with you.
 Proverbs
22:15
"Folly
is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive
it far from him."
Proverbs
22:6
"Train
a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from
it."
Proverbs
23:13
"Do
not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he
will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death."
Proverbs
13:24
"He
who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline
him."
Proverbs
19:18
"Discipline
your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death."
Proverbs
29:15
"The
rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to itself disgraces
his mother."
Proverbs
29:17
"Discipline
your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul."
I believe
the result of our refusing to hold onto this teaching in the guise of protecting
our children from child abuse we have heaped an even greater abuse on our
children. The abuse of leaving them to themselves and allowing them to
grow up valueless and confused. We'v made our children prey for every perverted
psychopath to enter the entertainment industry brainwashing them with their
rebellious, hate messages. And, unless we return to Biblical teachings
in our childrearing practices things will only get worse! Through our abdication
of Biblical values and instruction about child rearing we are reaping what
the Bible says will come in the days immediately prior to the return of
Jesus Christ to earth.
2
Timothy 3:1-5
"But
mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be
lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient
to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous,
without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash,
conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God-having a form of
godliness but denying its power."
Matthew
10:21-22
"Brother
will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel
against their parents and have them put to death. All men will hate you
because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved."
But,
let me be the first to say that discipline isn't the only place we fall
down. Another aspect of child rearing which contributes to the problems
we are facing today is parents hindering their children from believing
in God and accepting Jesus Christ as their Savior. I've talked with many
parents who say, "Oh, I don't want to push 'religion' on my children. When
they get old enough, say 17 or 18, they can decide for themselves what
religion they will choose." Or, if their children do attend church with
a friend and accept Jesus Christ as their Savior these same parents will
frequently attempt to talk them out of their faith or belittle it openly.
This just confuses the child and plants the seeds of doubt and bitterness.
The Bible says in
Mark
10:13-15
"People
were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the
disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said
to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for
the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone
who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never
enter it."
Men,
fathers, often are the worst at abdicating their Biblical responsibility
to bring their children up believing in Jesus Christ. Many just leave it
to the mother. But that isn't God's plan either. Fathers are to be actively
involved in the spiritual training of their children! That isn't just lecturing
their kids, but living the life in front of them.
Ephesians
6:4 says,
"Fathers,
do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training
and instruction of the Lord."
As
always, the choice is ours. Whether or not we are willing to do what is
necessary to see healing come to our land is up to us. But the constant,
incessant asking of the question "why" is a smoke screen to avoid looking
at the real answers. |
